When the Wonder Feels Like Doubt
I was driving the other day, watching the sunlight ripple over a field I’ve passed a hundred times. The sky stretched wide, the clouds slow and heavy, and for just a second, I felt that familiar smallness. The kind that can feel holy or terrifying depending on the day.
And then, out of nowhere, a thought came - What if all of this; the sky, the beauty, the peace I feel, what if it’s not what I’ve always believed?
The guilt came fast. I felt it in my chest before I even finished the thought. How could I think that? I love Jesus. I’ve seen him move in my life. I’ve felt his presence. And yet, sometimes the mind drifts, and the heart follows.
But here’s what I’ve come to understand. Wonder and doubt often walk hand in hand.
The ache to know more, to understand what’s beyond our human reach, that’s not rebellion. It’s evidence of a soul still searching for God in the wide mystery of things.
Even the disciples doubted. Thomas wanted to see the scars. Peter sank even after stepping out in faith. And Jesus didn’t scold them, he met them. He showed Thomas his wounds, he reached for Peter’s hand. He met every moment of human uncertainty not with shame, but with presence.
So maybe the doubt you’re feeling isn’t faith falling apart. Maybe it’s faith stretching. Maybe it’s the curiosity that makes space for Jesus to show you more of himself. We call it doubt, but maybe he just calls it hunger.
If you’ve ever felt like your questions disqualify you, hear this - Jesus is not afraid of your mind. He’s not threatened by your curiosity. He’s the creator of every neuron that fires when you ask why.
When the wonder feels like doubt, let it bring you closer, not farther. Let it become prayer in motion, the kind that sounds like - “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”
You’re not a bad Christian for asking hard things. You’re a growing one.
Let’s sit at the well for a minute.
Jesus,
Thank you for meeting us in the questions. When our faith feels thin or our hearts get tangled, remind us that you are still here - steady, patient, kind. Help us hold both wonder and belief, and trust that you are big enough for both. Meet us in our thoughts and turn our doubts into doorways that lead us deeper into you.
Amen.
